So today I started my new job. Yet preceeding the start of my new job I got anxiety. I started fearing that I wouldn't have time in my life for things I really cared about right now.

Turns out this won't be happening all just yet. I need to wait it out the rest of the week instead of crying wolf and looking like a fool. What is happening to me in my old age??

So I am not traveling like I used to. So what's the point of staying here?? I am in the midst of building a relationship however I feel as if I have messed it up by speaking too soon. Too soon about what??? Oh just a topic of conversation that could lead me to compromise because deep down I still believe things aren't moving fast enough. It's a rare place I am at. Never been here before with anyone. Still no physical love besides company and well...I don't want to mention that.

So I need to get sewing but the dang machine is just busting the thread. That is very frustrating when I am trying to get something done. I don't really want to tell my friend that her dress may not be ready by the time she leaves to go to Alaska.

I also don't really want to be living with my Dad right now. I get anxiety about being there when he's around.....I have no idea why that is.

So anyway I need to finish up planning a day visit to the UNR campus for some summer program. I have been kinda lazy about it up until now. I have started to clean out my office here little by little. I am not getting paid for coming up to UNR anymore. So I will finish what I need to finish and pray that I not fear change. Name of the game.

So life is lovely. Be peaceful. A lot of the drama going on with my parents I am trying to not let affect me. Maybe that's what it is with my dad.

Anyway I need to get going.

peace.

Before - next

~~All things are permissable but not all things are beneficial~~