I need to serioualy tell this one person that I am not interested. He called me last night. He asks me these questions and I know my answers aren't what he wants to hear. I like the fact that this person like me...wants me....but I am not into him like I wish I could be. It's way too risky and not what I want. But I can be a procrastinator.

People who are somewhat perfectionists have a tendency to be procrastinators. I read that somewhere.

I love having a smile on my face and a laugh that just is sparked by something. I love laughing. I love to laugh. I love funny things and people who make me laugh because I like to make people laugh. It's not fun when you are the one who is the funny one all the time. I was havin a good time on the phone last night with a different friend of mine. He definitely puts a smile on my face.

There is some other guy who calls me and asks me "why are you being rugged?". Well goodness. I don't act like that when I am in conversation with other people. When someone expects me to do all the talking and partly cares about what I am talking about....what's the point of talking with them and getting myself all frustrated and what not?? Well unless I am expecting that person to fill a certain spot in my life that I wish they could.....I guess it won't make me mad. So that's what it all comes down to.

Are we always looking at someone and how they measure up to all the things we want?? I think so. We do it with friends, teachers, dancing partners, etc. Is it bad? I don't think so. But it's just me thinking so. It's not me knowing so.

There was a man who was interested me awhile back. That made me so uncomfortable. He just was not what I like. He was successful though. I was flattered a bit, but more freaked out.

i was sittin around eatin pine nuts today. I miss pinenuts. I used to always eat them things when I was younger. Reminds of the rez...the washoe rez. Reminds me of my aunt janet's old house which in now my uncle Davids house.

I went to a craft fair today. I wish I could go to a pow wow most weekends and dance. One lady was like.." i would think you'd be at a pow wow...you win all the time". That made me feel good. People have noticed I dance pretty good. I can always get better though.

So on with the dreams.

Before - next

~~All things are permissable but not all things are beneficial~~