Sometimes I get a glimpse of myself and what I do not know but it comes in the way of another person. By their reaction I can tell that I haven't been explaining like I should or something. I felt so bad yesterday when I left the center after talking with that guy.

He sounded like he was getting mad at me and I felt somewhere along the lines something didn't make sense to me...yet I still kept talking about what I knew....and it was what I perceived to be right but i didn't have what I really to know. So I looked up some articles on the internet about what we were talking about and indeed I was wrong. I sent him a link to this article and told him that what I was trying to explain was wrong. How humbling is that?? I always get in this place and then I feel stupid because if I tell other people they will look at me like....how could you do that?? Be wrong about what you were talking about because it was what you really knew?? "I would have kept my mouth shut"....I can't stand those thoughts when I have them or the reactions I have constantly got by people who were just like..."I wouldn't have done that".

But we never really know what we would do unless we are in that situation one day. I was thinking about Joyce Meyer and how she grew in her relationship with God to be who she is today...and I remember her talking about messing up all the time and going in her room by herself to pray and then she said she was hangin on the the legs of the furniture. It's tough when we go along and then catch a glimpse of ourselves or find ourselves hurting or damaging someone's view of something but we don't intentionally do it because then comes the apology or the word to want to set things right but the other person may not even want to talk to you even though you go in humility. Oh geez...that's life.....but God sticks with us no matter what and he created us.

Summer school will be over next week. It will be the 4th of July weekend this weekend and I may be going out with some people I have never gone out with before.

And the Fallon pow wow seems like it will be grand this year....my friend is going to go and take his little girl. He says he gets out into the grand entries all the time....I think that is awesome. Also they are going to dedicate some events at the rodeo to his grandfather who recently just passed away ..just like mine.

I talked with zach last night. He is funny..made me laugh. I needed that. and I talked with my friend Kelly whom I haven't talked with in forever and Lenny a bit. I was callin a bunch of people on my cell phone list.

A reflection of our own relationships. If someone doesn't call you....do you call them? Our relationships are maintained by how much we put ourselves and commit ourselves to those people. Things just aren't maintained by not speaking and spending time. It's about callin eachother up and asking how we are doing and what's going on in their lives. I used to do that all the time. I love talking to people about their lives and what they want to do and what they have and haven't done yet. Just jokin around or what not.

And if you are ever in a bad mood it's a good idea to talk to someone you haven't talked to in a long time because you will have good things to say to someone and get your mind off of yourself and everything that seemingly making you miserable and life lightens up for that time.

Other people...we are called to love one another and things should never take the place over a live breathing human being. We have responsibilities but the person is always more important. In some ways that is my weakness...i would sacrifice quite a bit in my life to just keep talking with someone....I would miss class, miss an appt, not sleep, want to take them somewhere, spend money on them, go somewhere with them, travel to see them,......I would love to have money to just travel and see other people or hang with them or help them with whatever....to dance, put on some performances of some kind..hang out on a beach and just laugh...walk around cities all night long...watch movies, swim in the moonlight, pray, talk about serious stuff, happy stuff, funny stuff, etc....

so much I would like to do...but life here isn't about us.....God put us here for his pleasure and for other people. We are at our best when we are serving others because our mind is off of ourselves and we end up getting the blessings we want, but the biggest joy is the see the change in people or the smile on their face when they are free or overcome and sit in the glory side by side with you to acknowledge our creator and all his goodness.

I need to get to class...I am late...ha ha.

Before - next

~~All things are permissable but not all things are beneficial~~