I saw shrek 2 today. It was great.

I spoke to joey last night. I was also talking to Marcus as well. I know marcus respects me...he's native, got a black truck..and is 23..plus he is in the military and is stationed in Alaska right now. He's pretty cool to hang out with as well.

Joe said that he was thinking of making me a white feathered fan because he has just got some feathers. I have been wanting one since the Stanford MOther's day pow wow. Also he said that I will have to wait patiently for my belt he's supposed to make me. wonder what that means.

And as of today...talking with my mother....well there is talk of my dad saying he will come and stay here when he and my mom fight. I am not down with that. That's more incentive to get away from them. I dont' think it's a good idea for one parent to bash the other or talk about the relationship like the children are counselors. It hurts the children more than it does good and it makes me want to stay away from both of my parents. I am glad I get this house....but not if my parents are going to be trying to move in when they have been fighting. That sucks.

I need a man who can take care of me....all this feminist crap...of supporting myself...well that's all grand...but is kinda arrogant in a way. Maybe I just see it that way because I am not able to support myself right now. That sucks too.

But I heard a messege today about believing. I walk by faith and not sight...I need to remember that. All things are possible to the believing one. Wisdom lives in me.

Well I am taking a chance and dishing out some info. I was relieved to hear that I have no std's that the pap test checks for. As of my activities back in March...well I was afraid I could have something, but I don't. THank you Lord. I also just recently decided to go on birth control. That is something new. Some people say that it's just an incentive to do it more. Well I am indifferent. Life has a way of showing up and there are countless situations I have found myself in that I never thought I would be. THis is one of them. The last time I told the doctor that I am not going to have sex so I dont' need birth control. I was in denial a bit. But all in all what I need to do is turn to God and ask for wisdom and renewing of the mind and believe he will bring me the desires of my heart.

The night of my graduation I got drunk. I planned on drinking. IN my life I could count the times i have gotten drunk. BUt what was different is that the other times I have gotten drunk I have been with my girlfriends and no one was trying to take advantage of me. I knew the people around me pretty well. well..not all that well but no one tried to take advantage of me which is what happened this night. It's not cool when someone you do not like at all tries to touch you. It's just not right.

I really want to enter a new phase of life right now. I have one class left to take up at unr and that's it. I have not talked with Reggie about not wanting to work at unr. Graduate school could benefit me greatly but I don't want to be making excuses that I can't do what I really want to do because I am tied down at a university that I odn't like. I want change and am not sure how to go about those changes so I am left with belief. Believing is powerful and relying on God is the most powerful and fulfilling things we could do. The waiting can suck but I need to learn to wait with Praise and thankfulness in my heart.

I signed on here and didn't want to write down nothing.

shrek was the bomb. I should go see it again sometime. It's the best.

Believe..believe...believe...in Jesus christ...in all that he is and ask him. But be grateful and know. Be grateful and know.

Before - next

~~All things are permissable but not all things are beneficial~~